Recycled Bullsh-IT

The philosopher George Santayana wrote: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” The reason I bring this up, besides showing off my highbrow pretensions, is that I am still coming across people (well con-sultants anyway) whose sales pitch for business recovery from COVID include the phrases ‘blue sky thinking’, ‘best practice’ and ‘who moved my “Who Moved My Cheese?” book?’ On the last point, it was probably me – when I was binning their cod philosophy pamphlets, as I slapped them for every management cliché they spouted.

 My cynicism here is not based on a worry about competition (anyone who falls for their spiel deserves all the help they won’t get), but on half a lifetime of having to deal with their type, or, more specifically, both their types.

 Type 1s are the bright, young MBAs in their twenties, working for the prestigious (i.e. expensive) management consultancies. They have had the best education (Oxbridge, INSEAD, Harvard, etc.), have been brainwashed by their companies to believe they are Masters of the Universe, and are treated as such due to the frightening fees charged for them. They have picked up the theories and the catchphrases of their profession and communicate them with the confidence of youth. However, through lack of experience, all they can talk about are the idealised states of being that few companies ever achieve, let alone maintain. I have had the pleasure of getting rid of a number of these Androids (remember Andersen Consulting, infamous for the Enron disaster?) at organisations who were too bewildered to question what they were saying. The look of disbelief on their faces was a joy in itself. In some cases this turned to anger, and they would surprise me with their use of old English vernacular.

 The Type 1s are both intimidating and exhausting with their boundless energy and enthusiasm, often coupled with a frightening intellect. However, being smart is not just about knowing things. Somebody once said that the difference between knowledge and wisdom is this: Knowledge is the understanding that a tomato is a fruit: Wisdom is the understanding that you don’t put tomatoes in fruit salads. And Common Sense is to ignore salad philosophy.

 Type 2s are completely different. They do have wisdom, but in limited quantity. A typical Type 2 has grey hair (what’s left of it), has been around the block a few times, and has a stock of answers for all situations. Again, they are confident, based on past success, but tend to be more laid back – possibly involving afternoon naps. They are very experienced, but the range of their experience tends to be quite narrow. They have had success in solving specific problems and are now touting their solution for a wide range of business ills. If you have the same specific problem, for the same reasons and in the same market conditions, then these Type 2s could well provide a proven solution for you. However, they will probably not succeed, as they forego the required due diligence to ensure this is the case. They follow the old Kaplan/Maslow misquote: “When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail”. Also known as the Birmingham Screwdriver to my Midlands mates.

 The Type 2s can be more difficult to counter, as they will have picked up some life smarts in their long careers. They are also less threatening, so are difficult to dislike; a bit like your aging relative who overstays their welcome at Christmas. However, they can be just as dangerous as the Type 1s if they lead you down the wrong path. Getting rid of them, though, feels like sending your granny to the care home.

 The common thread for these two species is their lack of appreciation or interest in why you are where you are. Looking at the reasons for your current performance will ensure you identify the real triggers and causes, and prevent you making erroneous assumptions for the future state. This is not a contemplative navel-gazing exercise, but a rigorous examination of the current people, processes, systems and strategy weaknesses in your organisation. In most companies the answers to the problems can come from within, at a much lower risk than someone else’s ‘Best Practice’. You will also find that the buy-in and take-up of internally derived future states is both higher and more productive.

 The only problem with this approach is you don’t have anyone else to blame if it doesn’t work. However, you will find that if it is your own approach, it usually succeeds. Funny that…

John ‘Ex-con’ Moe

PS I’d just finished writing this when I listened to the former athlete and motivational speaker, Derek Redmond, talk about his ADAPT model to address the current challenge. This stands for: Acceptance, Direction, Alternatives, Planning, Transition

Great minds think alike😉