Recycled Bullsh-IT

I’m sure you’ve noticed that most of the IT vendors you’ve had the misfortune to deal with in the past, and who you occasionally throw a bone to, to keep them alive but lean, are desperate to be your ‘Partner’ now. (Or to bully you with a software audit, but I’ll leave that crusty topic for another day).

 In the old days, you had customers at one end of your business, and suppliers at the other end. Your job was (and still is) to stiff the customer and screw the supplier (or vice versa; I was never sure which). Life was pretty straightforward, and everyone knew their place.

 Over the last few years, the vendors have embraced Strategic Selling (worryingly shortened to ᛋᛋ) methodologies that encourage them to: a) try to talk to your boss instead of you, and b) want to ‘partner’ with you. 

 The reason they want to talk to your boss is not that they think you’re a waste of space (well, not completely), but because they have been told that if they get to a senior ‘decision-maker’, they can close a bigger/faster/better deal. Now, if you are the decision-maker, this is intensely irritating. Even if you are not, this behaviour is likely to result in you plotting their downfall and finding another vendor who will talk to you – until they get their Strategic Selling training… 

 The partner approach is more beguiling, as they suggest that they will be dynamic, innovative, and accommodating. This can sound quite alluring, bringing some excitement and (what feels like extra-marital) relief from the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard re-enactment you are going through with your current supplier. The key message is that you can avoid an ‘us and them’ situation, with everyone, er, coupling for the common good, while whistling The Piña Colada Song. It’s only later you have nightmares when this involves the sweaty, shiny salesperson who sold you this fantasy.

 Don’t be fooled. Their objective is to extract as much money from you as is possible. This is always easier if you are happy or blissfully unaware of what is happening. The ‘just sign here and we will take care of your problems’ carrot can be difficult to resist, particularly when you’re under time pressure to deliver, or your business is disappearing in a viral fog. Caveat Emptor! I have yet to see a supplier’s contract that truly embraces the concept of partnership. The gotcha and get-out clauses will protect them at the first sign of real trouble, and although they may nod sympathetically, they will dutifully point at the small print and shrug their shoulders. Congratulations, you now have a partnershit.

 The best business relationships I have seen are where both parties are crystal clear on their respective responsibilities and obligations, which are supported by specific metrics, and there is a rigorous measurement and auditing function to ensure compliance. This is governed by a comprehensive contract, and managed by regular meetings between joint teams at all levels of the engagement – CEO, directors, managers, project team, operations, etc. These meetings will foster trust through engagement and regular communication on the good, bad and ugly parts of the service you are receiving. If these are done honestly, the issues can be resolved quickly – without resorting to the lawyers.

 This relationship is not a partnership: you and the supplier have clear roles of client and vendor, but an effective working relationship can be built that will survive the inevitable shocks and challenges that all engagements suffer. This relationship will lead to behaviour that is ultimately to the benefit of both parties, because their interests are aligned, and the communication is sufficiently frequent and robust that small issues don’t become fatal problems. 

 Bear this in mind, too, when you’re schmoozing your own customers. If you catch yourself using the P-word, ask yourself how accommodating you would really be. So, aim for Win-Win not WW3.

John ‘Taking the PPP’ Moe