Recycled Bullsh-IT

Spare a thought in these torrid/tedious/troublesome times for the unsung stars of the computing world – the IT sales execs. Only kidding! Most of us are grateful for nine months not having to meet with the shiny sweaty suits peddling their unwanted soft/hard/wet-wares. But are they really as irritating as we think, and are they really paid loadsamoney for being a walking talking vending machine? [Is this a trick question? Ed]

Stereotype

It’s easy to dismiss the IT sales executive as a waste of space, so here I go.   The classic caricature is one who is flash (Mad Men), unscrupulous (Wolf of Wall Street) and talks for England (pick any politician). 

However, bear in mind that nothing in B2B business happens without a sale. And sales tend not to happen without a salesperson. We’re not talking about commodity stuff you can order online but complex products and services that are covered by the overused, almost meaningless, and fuzzy term solution. A good sales exec will assist you through the buying process, so it goes ahead smoothly and (relatively) painlessly. A smokin’ hot sales exec will help you unlock the value from your (usually enormous) financial commitment after you have bought.

Confession time: I spent over a decade in new business sales roles for a variety of IT companies. Some of my customers survived, and the rest haven’t found where I live yet, so I’d call that a result. I discovered it wasn’t as easy as I thought, and that some, but not all, of my prejudices above were wide of the mark. Having spent even longer buying from IT companies (mainly not p*ssing away money with them to be exact – see the Customer is ‘king Furious), here’s my guide to what actually makes a smokin’ hot IT sales exec:

Bright Future in Sales

Sales Exec Character Sheet: Smokin’ Hot Build

• Strength: You need to have a strong enough character to give you the confidence to talk to strangers, but not too much you come across as a complete hooray henry – unless you’re just selling to the aristocracy
• Intelligence: Again, some smarts but not enough to embarrass your potential customers who might feel threatened if you’re swottier than they are
• Wisdom: Be wise in what you are selling, knowledgeable about their buying cycle, and observant in listening to your prospect’s random thoughts, and perceptive in knowing when to close. The old adage about having two ears and one mouth is spot on
• Dexterity: It pays to be as cunning as a fox who’s just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University (©Blackadder) when it comes to finding your way into and around the organisation you are trying to sell to. Inserting yourself in front of the right people takes good reflexes and agility when the opportunity arises
• Constitution: Imagine if you had to contact a hundred people a day, and 99% of them ignored or abused you. Every day of every week. Of every month. And then the 1% who did talk just wasted your time as they were lonely/bored/malicious, had no use for your mousetrap or had no budget and couldn’t buy anything anyway.  You need a strong constitution to keep doing this, and it is one of the two key attributes you need to be successful in sales
• Charisma: And no, the other key attribute is not charisma. Being the life and soul of the party is great for, er, parties, but force of personality is a big turn off for many people in IT. You need to be personable enough for people not to gag or run screaming from you, but you are not there to make friends but to help them buy            
• Luck: The other main attribute. A bugger to cultivate but can sometimes be the main reason for a sale or a loss. Most of the most successful salespeople (i.e., the richest) I’ve met were in the right place at the right time. Obviously, there is something in Gary Player’s quote “The more I practise, the luckier I get”, but when your competitor’s worst sales exec beats you to the deal (or becomes POTUS) through sheer luck, don’t get mad – just roll the dice again

 Sales is also the easiest to measure in terms of performance – hit target: keep job; miss target: lose job – and has the lowest job tenure (1.5 years and decreasing). So, it’s not for the faint-hearted. 

As Dirty Harry actually said: ‘You’ve got to ask yourself one question. Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?’ 

John ‘Just Sign Here. And Here’ Moe